15 Ways Mexico Will Drive You Absolutely Bonkers (And How to Survive)

Right, listen up, you lot. You're thinking of going to Mexico, eh? Sun, sand, tequila, tacos – sounds lovely, doesn't it? But let me tell you, Mexico's got a few tricks up its sleeve, and they're not all about margaritas and mariachi bands. Here’s a guide to the 15 most annoying things you’ll encounter in Mexico and how to survive them without losing your mind or your luggage.

1. The "No Problem" Problem:

You'll hear it everywhere, "No problem, amigo." But trust me, there's a problem. A big, hairy, smelly problem. You'll be waiting for a bus, and the driver will be "no problem" about the fact it's 20 minutes late. You'll be trying to order a coffee, and the barista will be "no problem" about the fact they've run out of milk. It's enough to make you want to scream "There IS a problem, you idiot!" But, here's the thing, it's their way. They're not trying to be rude, they're just… well, they're Mexican.

Solution: Learn to say "No pasa nada" and embrace the "no problem" philosophy. It's a lot less stressful, and you'll be able to enjoy your margarita in peace.

2. The "Siesta" Syndrome:

You're ready to hit the beach, but guess what? It's 2 pm and everything is closed. Shops, restaurants, even the bloody ice cream van. They're all taking a siesta, and you're left sweating in the sun, wishing you'd packed a flask of tequila.

Solution: Embrace the siesta. Have a nap yourself, or find a shady spot and read a book. You'll be back in the swing of things when the sun starts to set.

3. The "Traffic" Terror:

Forget about getting anywhere on time. Traffic in Mexico is like a game of bumper cars on a giant, sun-baked roundabout. You'll be stuck for hours, honking your horn, wishing you'd just stayed at home.

Solution: Give up. Seriously, just give up. Relax, enjoy the scenery, and try to find some humor in the chaos. It's all part of the Mexican experience, and you'll probably end up with a story to tell about it.

4. The "Toilet" Tragedy:

You'll be desperate for a toilet, and you'll find one, but it'll be like something out of a horror movie. No toilet paper, no soap, and the smell? Let's just say it's not for the faint of heart.

Solution: Pack your own travel-sized essentials. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, maybe even a little air freshener. You'll thank me later.

5. The "Bartering" Battle:

You'll be tempted to haggle for everything, but trust me, it's not worth the hassle. You'll be arguing over a few pesos, and the vendor will be staring at you like you've just insulted their mother.

Solution: Don't be a cheapskate. Pay the asking price, and enjoy the experience. It's all part of the culture, and it's not like you're going to break the bank anyway.

6. The "Dog" Dilemma:

You'll be walking down the street, enjoying the sights and sounds, and then you'll see it: a dog, a big, hairy, smelly dog, and it's staring at you with a look that says "I'm going to eat your face."

Solution: Don't panic. Most Mexican dogs are just friendly, but it's best to avoid direct eye contact. And if you're really worried, keep a can of dog food handy. It's a good way to make friends with the locals.

7. The "Mosquito" Mayhem:

You'll be sitting on the beach, enjoying a cold cerveza, and then you'll feel it: a tiny, buzzing, blood-sucking monster. The mosquito is a constant threat in Mexico, and it's not afraid to bite.

Solution: Pack some strong insect repellent. And if you're really unlucky, you might need to wear a mosquito net. But hey, at least you'll be safe from the dog.

8. The "Food" Fiasco:

You'll be excited to try all the delicious Mexican food, but be warned: it's not all tacos and burritos. Some of the dishes are pretty weird, and they might not be to your liking.

Solution: Stick to the basics. Tacos, burritos, enchiladas, and tamales are all safe bets. And if you're feeling adventurous, try a little something different, but don't be afraid to spit it out if you don't like it.

9. The "Language" Labyrinth:

You'll be trying to communicate with the locals, but you'll quickly realize that Spanish is a whole different beast. They speak fast, they use slang, and they're not afraid to throw in a few curse words.

Solution: Learn a few basic phrases. "Hola," "Gracias," "Por favor," and "No entiendo" will get you a long way. And if all else fails, use your hands and feet. They'll understand you eventually.

10. Street "Vendors" Everywhere

Want to walk down the street? Good luck. Every step you take, you’ll be offered tacos, sombreros, or handmade dolls that look like they’ve seen things. It’s charming at first—until you realize your backpack is now a mobile trinket shop.

Solution:
A polite but firm “No, gracias” will usually suffice. Alternatively, invest in a pair of headphones. Even if they’re not playing anything, they’re a universal “leave me alone” sign.

11. Bureaucracy That "Moves" at the Speed of Molasses

Need to deal with paperwork? You might as well bring a tent and some provisions. Mexican bureaucracy makes British government offices look efficient. Prepare for long waits, confusing forms, and the distinct feeling that you’ve entered a Kafka novel.

Solution:
Patience is key. Also, bring copies of every document you’ve ever owned. Twice. And when in doubt, smile and be polite—it’ll get you further than complaining.

12. Heat That "Laughs" at Your Pain

You think summer in Cornwall is hot? Try stepping outside in Oaxaca at noon. The sun doesn’t just shine; it scorches. You’ll sweat in places you didn’t know could sweat.

Solution:
Hydrate. Constantly. And invest in a wide-brimmed hat. You’ll look ridiculous, but it’s better than looking like a lobster that’s had a bad day.

13. Language "Barriers" and Lost in Translation

Your high school Spanish won’t prepare you for the rapid-fire slang and regional dialects. You’ll ask for directions and end up buying a donkey.

Solution:
Learn a few key phrases, download a translation app, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. Mexicans appreciate the effort, even if you butcher their language.

14. The Public Transport "Circus"

Buses that look like they’ve survived a war, taxis without meters, and colectivos packed tighter than a tin of sardines. Public transport here is an adventure in itself.

Solution:
Know your routes and fares in advance. And remember, if a bus looks like it’s falling apart, it probably is—but it’ll still get you where you’re going. Eventually.

15. The Never-Ending Battle with Montezuma’s "Revenge"

You haven’t truly experienced Mexico until you’ve had a close encounter with its legendary stomach bug. One wrong taco, and you’ll be worshipping the porcelain throne for days.

Solution:
Stick to bottled water and avoid street food that looks like it’s been sitting out since the Aztecs. And pack Imodium. Lots of it.

Mexico is a beautiful country, but it can be a bit of a pain in the backside. But don't let that put you off. Just be prepared, and you'll have a great time. And if all else fails, just remember: "No problem, amigo."