A Million Homes, a Raffle for Judges, and a Hurricane Hangover

Right then, where do we even begin with Claudia Sheinbaum’s Monday morning routine? In the realm of Mexican politics, it seems you can’t just pop your head above the parapet and announce anything without diving headfirst into an ocean of convoluted announcements, half-promises, and, of course, the odd disaster clean-up. But, if there’s one thing you can count on, it’s the fact that when Sheinbaum speaks, there’s always something in it for everyone. And Monday’s People's Morning Press Conference was no different.

First up on the agenda—drumroll please—a million homes! Yes, you heard that right. One million. Now, this isn’t just a property developer’s fever dream, but an actual, government-backed project under Sedatu (the Secretariat for Agrarian, Territorial and Urban Development, for those keeping score). And at the helm of this utopian ambition is none other than Edna Elena Vega Rangel. Now, Edna’s not one for hyperbole; she’s the kind of person who looks at a barren landscape and sees opportunity, or at least a nice patch of ground for future plumbing issues.

So what does Edna have in store for us? Well, during the six-year term, she says, one million homes will be built, with top priority going to—you guessed it—the women, the young, the elderly, and indigenous populations. Basically, if you’ve been left out in the cold by society, Sedatu’s here to hand you the keys to your new future. At least, that’s the plan.

But let’s pause for a moment and just consider the logistics. Building one million homes? Have you tried hiring a plumber recently? Good luck with that. The sheer magnitude of what they’re proposing is like announcing you’ll be building the pyramids by hand… and promising not to be late for lunch. But let’s not rain on Edna’s parade. If they can pull this off, well, it’ll be a miracle—or at the very least a government official somewhere will deserve a medal.

Judges by Raffle, Why Not?

Meanwhile, over at the Senate, they’ve turned to a new, cutting-edge method of selecting candidates for the Judicial Branch—raffles. Yes, folks, you heard me correctly. Raffles. The same system you use to win a stuffed bear at the local fair or snag a dodgy bottle of wine at the office Christmas party is now being used to fill key positions in Mexico’s Judicial Branch. This is democracy, people, with a side of "bingo."

Secretary of the Interior, Rosa Icela Rodríguez, assured us that these raffles were completely random. Well, I should hope so. The last thing you want in a raffle is for it to be not random. No one enjoys the feeling of rigged Bingo night. But don’t worry, Rosa tells us, it was all done with the utmost respect for human rights and judicial impartiality, as though that makes us all feel better about the whole thing.

But really, this system does raise a question or two, doesn’t it? I mean, what’s next? Will the presidency itself be decided by drawing straws? Political reform by flipping a coin? "Heads we legislate, tails we hit the beach"? The mind boggles. But if it works, maybe we’re onto something. Maybe raffles will be the future of democracy. Who needs rigorous vetting processes, anyway?

The Morelos’ “Sabadazo” Case

Now, if you thought things couldn’t get any more bizarre, let’s move on to the curious case of the “sabadazo” — or Saturday surprise, for the uninitiated. Sheinbaum, never one to shy away from calling things as they are, had a bone to pick with the Judicial Branch. You see, over the weekend, an alleged criminal somehow found himself free, thanks to the actions of a certain judge from Morelos. Now, Morelos, as we all know, is famous for its picturesque landscapes and questionable judicial decisions, it seems.

“What does Morelos have to do with it?” Sheinbaum asks, in the kind of exasperated tone one adopts when explaining to a child why their imaginary friend can’t be blamed for the cookie jar incident. Well, the answer, apparently, is everything. Sheinbaum, in her frustration, points out that this is precisely why the Judicial Branch is in desperate need of reform. When judges start making these kinds of decisions over the weekend—without so much as a heads-up to the people in charge—well, you know you’ve got a bit of a mess on your hands.

It’s a story as old as time, really. Rogue judge makes questionable decision, politicians react in outrage, public scratches head in confusion, and somehow, nothing really changes. Except, this time, Sheinbaum insists, things will be different. We’ll see. We’ll see.

The Calm After the Storm

And, of course, no press conference would be complete without a touch of disaster relief. This time, it’s Acapulco, which is inching ever closer to ending its emergency phase after the wrath of “John” barreled through. Sheinbaum assures us that the recovery is going swimmingly, and that this week marks the beginning of support delivery for cleanup efforts.

The emergency phase, she says, is nearing its end, which—if you’ve been to Acapulco recently—is like saying the Titanic was nearing dry dock after its brush with the iceberg. Sure, they’re making progress, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The road to recovery in disaster-stricken areas is never quite as smooth as they’d like to make it sound, and we all know it.

But credit where credit is due, Sheinbaum has at least acknowledged the need for continued attention, not just for Acapulco but for other affected areas as well. The question, of course, is whether the resources and political will are there to see it through to the end. I’d bet on it taking a bit longer than anyone expects, but let’s hope I’m wrong.

So there you have it, Mexico’s latest political happenings. One million homes, a judicial raffle, a rogue judge, and a city inching out of crisis. It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin, and it’s only Monday.

Sheinbaum is certainly making waves, and whether you love her, hate her, or simply enjoy the spectacle, you’ve got to admit—there’s never a dull moment. Whether it’s housing projects the size of small countries or baffling judicial decisions made over the weekend, she’s always got something to keep us on our toes. And, honestly, who needs Netflix when you’ve got this kind of drama playing out in real-time?