AMLO Battles Fake News and Fat Cat Salaries

Welcome, fellow truth-seekers, to a journey through the labyrinthine world of Mexican politics – via the lens of President López Obrador's daily press conference. Today's menu is a mixture of spicy retorts, historical tidbits, and, of course, a hearty helping of “Who's Who in the Lies of the Week.” Buckle up, porque se pone bueno!

Texans, Tacos, and Televisa

First up, a historical amuse-bouche: Texas' Mexican heritage takes center stage. Apparently, our neighbors north of the Rio Grande weren't always yee-hawing – once upon a time, they were munching on tacos and salsa to the tune of mariachi. AMLO, ever the history buff, dropped this little nugget while chatting with US congressmen, who (bless their Texan hearts) inquired about the whereabouts of Santa Anna's portrait. It's like a telenovela episode where amnesia strikes, but instead of lost lovers, it's national identity on the line.

Friends or Foes of Fortune Cookies?

Speaking of identity, AMLO served up a piping hot plate of shade for Coparmex, the Mexican employers' confederation. Apparently, they're not exactly fans of his Morena party, siding more with the PAN like a stale fortune cookie stuck to the bottom of the political jar. Ouch! But hey, at least their stance is consistent – like a Chihuahua barking at the postman every day, rain or shine.

Sensationalism Served with Alarmism

Next on the menu, a media feast – with a heavy side of sensationalism and alarmism. Those pesky journalists, always sniffing out scandals like truffle pigs at a political picnic. AMLO, channeling his inner media critic, slammed outlets like Reforma for ignoring positive news from Inegi about security improvements. It's like they prefer the juicy drama of a shootout to the heartwarming fluff of a puppy rescue.

AMLO whips out a photo from Felipe Calderón's era, claiming a pact of silence existed back then about the country's violence. It's like unearthing a dusty family album, except instead of awkward teenage photos, it's pictures of bloodshed and fear. And then, the pièce de résistance: a graph showcasing the Armed Forces' lethality rate, rising like a soufflé in a haunted oven under Calderón's watch. Talk about a chilling visual metaphor!

El Mencho, Marginalized Communities, and Money

AMLO throws cold water on sensational videos portraying indigenous communities supposedly begging “El Mencho” for justice. Seems like social media can whip up a frenzy faster than a telenovela character can slap someone. Instead, AMLO assures us, his government supports marginalized communities through Wellbeing programs, reaching even the remotest corners like a drone delivering tacos to a desert island.

Carmen Aristegui and the Price of Information

Now, for a spicy chisme: AMLO takes aim at Carmen Aristegui, his favorite media punching bag. Apparently, she's the Voldemort of journalism, spreading misinformation like Dementors sucking out happiness. And Carlos Loret de Mola? Well, his salary is bigger than the Supreme Court president's, enough to buy a mansion with a moat of guacamole. It's like a real-life Robin Hood story, except Robin Hood steals from the media-rich and gives to the government-poor.

ISSSTE: From Shell to Service Station?

Speaking of money, AMLO exposes the alleged shadiness of private companies handling services for ISSSTE, the state workers' social security institute. Apparently, they control information like a cartel boss hoarding tequila recipes. But fear not, AMLO promises to turn ISSSTE back into a service provider, not a shell company like a piñata with all the candy eaten but the stick still in your hand.

Saving the Rich from Themselves

And regarding money, AMLO throws down a philosophical gauntlet: in times of crisis, should the government bail out the rich with everyone's hard-earned pesos? Absolutely not, he bellows, like a telenovela hero refusing to marry the evil hacienda owner's daughter. The Ballesteros family, who control water distribution in Quintana Roo, should face scrutiny, not government handouts. It's a refreshing dose of Robin Hood-esque populism in a world where champagne toasts often drown out the cries of the hungry.

Loret vs. Law vs. Lies

AMLO dives into the labyrinthine world of ministerial salaries, comparing them to media moguls like Cir Gómez Leyva and Carlos Loret. It's a math lesson worthy of drama, with numbers flying faster than tortillas at a fiesta. Apparently, Loret rakes in twice what a minister does, leaving AMLO to ponder why. Is it because, as he suggests, they're both cogs in the same “pyramidal system,” where information control is currency and the privileged few feast on public ignorance? It's enough to make your head spin like a telenovela heroine dodging bullets in a high-heeled chase.

And speaking of lies, “Who's Who in the Lies of the Week” takes the stage. Ana Elizabeth García Vilchis, our resident truth detective, dispels media myths like a witch banishing bad spells. The El Cuchillo II pumping station works just fine, she declares, proving it's not a thirsty damsel in distress. And those cold wave blackouts? Reforma was exaggerating like a telenovela character faking a faint to get attention.

But the pièce de résistance is Vilchis' takedown of Joaquín López-Dóriga, a journalist whose salary question exposed his payroll illiteracy. It's like watching a villain trip over their own mustache, except instead of a mustache, it's a lack of basic accounting skills.

And finally, Azucena Uresti's exit from Milenio gets the truth serum treatment. No government censorship here, Vilchis insists, it was a mutual break-up, amicable as a couple holding hands during their final goodbye scene.

Phew! That's AMLO's Morning Conference, where truth and fiction mix, history resurfaces, and the media gets roasted hotter than chiles rellenos. So, dear truth-seekers, tune in next time for another episode through the labyrinthine world of Mexican politics, where every day is a cliffhanger waiting to happen.