Dealing with grief: in the face of catastrophes, death can be met with life
In addition to psychotherapy, there are other options to deal with grief, such as thanatology and daily activities. We will know that we have overcome this psychological reaction when we feel like working, enjoying, and sublimating.
When we can remember and have a clear and convincing idea of what happened, it means that we have solved the mourning for an unexpected loss, the result is mental restoration; that is, we were able to take charge of our memory, considered the specialist of the Faculty of Psychology of the UNAM, Gerardo Mora Gutiérrez.
While giving the conference "Duels and losses during the pandemic: From emotional pain to mental repair", he indicated: the health crisis has placed us at the limit of ourselves, it has confronted us. Being able to reconnect with what we have, with what we have not explored, and with our depths will be one of the ways to resolve these processes of loss of a loved one or alterations in our daily lives that threaten emotional stability.
In the distance session of the lecture series "UNAMirada desde la Psicología" ("Looking at it from Psychology"), he said that telling our story, going over it, feeling it, and connecting it with the most intimate parts of the psyche, is a work of mental repair. "Past, present, and future are mixed because grief is an experience that is felt in the present, but that takes us back to the past and makes us think about the future; that is, to carry out a process of historicization".
The history of loss is full of feelings, confrontations, but also of relief: he who does not speak does not relieve himself, he who can tell his situation to himself, will have a clarifying and relieving sensation. Historicization is fundamental because it is the basis of mourning reparation, it implies assuming that what was lost will no longer be the way we knew it, but neither will we be the same. The process does not end; on the contrary, it prepares for life.
Deaths are one of the impacts of the SARS-CoV-2 virus and grief is not solved by rationalizing, but by feeling and confronting ourselves with what has to do with this process that constitutes one of the most denied daily human experiences, and when it occurs it can result in mental chaos, he highlighted. The university specialist explained that in addition to psychotherapy, there are other ways to solve the processes of loss, for example, thanatology and action activities, such as helping others through volunteering or carrying out daily life tasks, including home repairs.
This depends on the needs of the individuals, although if we carry out these tasks as a way of evasion, we will not necessarily solve the grief, since it implies confrontation and sooner or later we will have to live it, acknowledged the university expert. Likewise, he explained that pretending to help a person who refuses to go to a specialist for treatment, the person who should receive specialized attention is the one who is distressed by that other individual.
According to the type of grief, if we detect that we have lost interest in our life, we are unable to take care of basic needs, we have detached ourselves from people and suddenly we cannot take care of ourselves, it is time to seek help; besides, it is not necessary to wait for it to appear to ask for professional help, "we could process the prequel of the grief which will make the crisis much less shocking than if we wait to have a depression and we cannot get out of it easily", he pointed out.
Each person has his or her way of dealing with the experience, the order and duration vary. "We will know that this psychological reaction has been overcome when we feel like working, enjoying, and sublimating; in the face of all of life's catastrophes one can face death with one's own life."
