Mexico Just Declared Sargassum a “Fish”
Mexicanist dispatch: seaweed’s now a “fish,” crocs Airbnb the suburbs, free drinks where sargassum scares tourists, plus wrestling kids, tax-break hammocks and taco-flavored tennis.
Yes, you read that right. Starting today, the brown, stinky seaweed that carpets our beaches is officially a fishery resource. Translation: instead of cursing it, we’re now supposed to farm it. The government dreams of turning the stuff into cow food, bricks, and—why not—bioplastic bikinis. If you spot a local stuffing seaweed into his pickup, he’s not weird; he’s a pioneer.
Pro tip for tourists: The next beach vendor who tries to sell you “hand-harvested Caribbean caviar” is probably just flipping you a fistful of yesterday’s sargazo. Negotiate accordingly.
